Moments in the Life
by Shattered-Valor
Summary: Life in Cyrodiil is never boring, especially for adventurers. Call them what you will: heroes, antiheroes, villains, scoundrels... They've seen and done things that could break any normal person down. However, sometimes the things they experience are simply much too strange. Take a brief look into one such adventurer's life.
1. Vercius Devlin

**Warnings: Humor (befitting the setting of Oblivion), Language  
**

* * *

 **Moments in the Life of: Vercius Devlin  
**

 **A Glimpse**

 _I would appreciate a bit of an explanation here. No, no, I am not familiar with the Imperial City. It seems like an entirely different culture, despite being in the same province. Me? I hail from Kvatch; I am a Colovian man. Finally made my way into the University; wanted to gain an understanding of the entire province and magic. I understand but- What? What sort of rule is_ that _? I bumped the apple off of the table and now I must be arrested for picking it back up? Is there a fine I could pay instead? No?  
_

 _What in Oblivion do you mean? This is not a 'heinous' crime! I made a simple mistake! Unhand me!_

* * *

 **A Warning of the Wrong Sort**

Humming to himself, Vercius unlocked the door to Glarthir's house. _I wonder how much this will bother the paranoiac._ He closed the door behind him. _No one can see me with my enchanted armor; I will be fine._ Entering the cluttered living room, the Imperial began shoving anything of value into his bag. Silver, gold, food, and a book or two. _Clutter, clutter..._ Frowning, the hooded man sent a fireball into the paranoiac's bookcase. _Let the little freak worry about_ this _mess._

As he turned around, he bumped into someone else. Vercius winced, his hand immediately on the hilt of his sword. _With my Family at my back, I do not care what-!_ His eyes fell upon a red cuirass bearing the town's insignia. Lifting his gaze, Vercius found the eyes of Captain Dion staring back. _Gods' Blood..._ Sighing, the Imperial dropped his bag and raised his arms up. _It is not worth killing the captain of the city guard._

"A little bird told me you've been asking around about Glarthir. Our resident 'eccentric.' I'd like to know why."

 _Seriously?_ "You came here for _that_?"

The guard captain shrugged, eyes never leaving Vercius. "I'm Guard Captain here; it's my job to know certain things. Especially when it comes to Glarthir."

 _I_ broke _into his house; is that not a concern to you?_ "For the record, _he_ approached _me_. Something about helping him. I wanted to gather more information about him. I do _not_ enjoy taking jobs without knowing my potential employer."

"Here's some advice, _friend_. Glarthir's a crazy bastard; harmless crazy, but crazy nonetheless. I keep an eye on him so nothing disrupts Skingrad's peace. Whatever the job is, I suggest you forget all about it. _Now_. Since you were courteous enough to tell me the truth, I extend my own trust. If anything...strange...comes up, talk to one of the guards or come find me."

"No problem," Nodding his invisible head, the hooded Imperial saluted the guard. "Strange request equals a visit to the local guard."

"Carry on, citizen." Turning back around, the guard captain swiftly left the house without another glance.

Scratching the back of his head, Vercius retrieved his abandoned bag. "Weird city. How did he even know I was here?"

* * *

 **The Oblivion Gate of Kvatch**

"Are you _sure_ about this?" Crouching beside the other Imperial, Ilend Vonius eyed the lava hissing below the bridge. "We _need_ to find Menien as soon as possible. Then we can get out of here, right?!"

"Peace, Vonius, peace." The hooded Imperial hissed as he shifted around in his Ebony Armor. "I wanted to something for your fallen comrades."

Ilend's shoulders sagged. "You're right, we ought to honor-."

"Honor?" Vercius scoffed as he slipped the dead guards' cuirasses off. "I wished to relieve the dead of their belongings."

"You selfish bas-!"

"Besides, the merchants in the refugee camp can reuse these items or repurpose them." Slipping the cuirasses and other pieces of armor into his bag, Vercius glanced up at the guard.

Lowering his sword, the guard huffed. He glared into the lava below. _You're only stuck with this guy until you find Menien and close the gate. Find Menien and close the damn gate, Ilend!_ Sheathing his sword, the man ran a hand through his hair. Ilend met Vercius' gaze for a moment. _I hope I can last a bit longer. This madman's going to be the death of me; regardless of the few moments he makes sense.  
_

Vercius stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "We should continue on, Vonius. Kvatch is not going to save itself at this rate, now is it?"

 _Help or not, this guy is a bastard._ Grumbling beneath his breath, the Kvatch guard followed Vercius back up the hill towards the tower.

* * *

 **Of Hand Scythes and Watermelons  
**

Vercius frowned as he held a hand scythe in his hand. "I _cannot_ use this nice, _sharp_ hand scythe to kill my enemies?"

"No. Dar'athra has tried before; something feels strange when it is held." The grey-furred Khajiit calmly placed his hands on the table. "Curious thing, no?"

"Indeed," The dark-haired Imperial set aside the tool. "Have you discovered any alternatives?"

"Hm... This one tried watermelon once. Not very effective alone, but in large group, it can hurt."

" _Watermelons_?"

"Yes. Demonstration must be needed, yes?" Dar'athra stood up, picked up a crate of scrolls, and nodded for Vercius to follow. "Dar'athra is prepared."

"I noticed," Standing up from his seat, the Imperial followed the Khajiit outside.

Crossing his arms behind his back, Vercius walked with his comrade on to the wall of Cloud Ruler Temple. He peered over the edge. _Where is Dar'athra getting the watermelon, I wonder?_ As if reading his thoughts, the Khajiit tapped him on the arm with his tail. Vercius met his friend's gaze, trailing over to the watermelon on the ground. _Ah, I see._ The Imperial knelt down and hefted the watermelon up to his friend, who set down the crate.

"Stalker of the night trusts Dar'athra, yes?" The grey-furred Khajiit began stuffing his pockets with scrolls as Vercius patiently waited with an armful of watermelon.

Snorting, the green-eyed Imperial nodded. "I could do without the nickname, but of course I trust you. You have yet to give me a reason not to trust you, Dar'athra."

The Khajiit nodded happily before taking the watermelon away, "Very good."

 _This ought to be good._ Vercius focused on his friend's actions with a scrutinizing eye. Dar'athra chucked the green fruit into the air and over the wall. He outstretched both his arms after quickly opening and closing one of the scrolls. Once Dar'athra finished, the fruit seemed to freeze in midair. _A...floating watermelon?_ Frowning, the Imperial took a step closer to the edge only to see the melon duplicate itself.

"Gods' Blood!" Vercius took a step back as hundreds of watermelons appeared in midair before falling and smashing into pieces on the ground below.

Dar'athra simply turned to him with a grin. "Useful trick, no?"

* * *

 **I started playing Oblivion once again. Weird things happened (as they usually do in Oblivion) and in an attempt at humor and to dig myself out of my writer's block, I created this. Short and sweet, but it may go on to encompass more strange things. Maybe even with other characters I've created.  
**

 **Anyway, I usually write serious things. Adventures, drama, mystery, horror, and things like that. Usually very serious as I can make them with little bits of humor to relieve the tension. This was me testing the boundaries of my humor. Humor for the sake of itself.  
**

 **Thank you for reading! Feel free to let me know what you thought.**


	2. Dar'athra

**Warnings: Humor (befitting the setting of Oblivion), Language, Violence  
**

 **The tidbit at the beginning is usually how the character got arrested prior to the Emperor's escape. And is told from the character's perspective, which is why their inner monologue is different.**

* * *

 **Moments in the Life of: Dar'athra  
**

 **A Glimpse**

 _Cyrodiil is nothing like Elsweyr. No warm sands, only changing weather and cold stones. This one does not like it here. Strangers, hunters of the weak, walk everywhere. Few who approach are prey. Dar'athra feels...lonely here. Eh? A hunter approaches once more with tin suit. Hm? Perhaps the Imperial made a mistake. Dar'athra owns no skooma. This one has no desire to be arrested. Even if Dar'athra had any, it would not have come on the boat here. This one is innocent!  
_

 _No! Such actions will not be tolerated! Dar'athra demands to- Oof!_ **THWACK!**

* * *

 **Headed Nowhere  
**

Blinking, Dar'athra came to a stop beside a traveling legionnaire, "Hm?"

Tail swishing behind him, the grey-furred Khajiit circled around the stationary soldier. **Tabdak-tabdak.** Hooves clacked against the stone roads but made no progress. Oblivious to the fact, the legionnaire surveyed his surroundings over and over again. _Cyrodiil is very strange..._ Dar'athra stepped in front of the Imperial and his horse. With an exaggerated wave of the hand, he received the man's attention.

"Greetings, citizen." The legionnaire greeted as his horse walked in place. "You are well, I hope?"

"Yes, this one is fine. And you?" The grey-furred Khajiit gestured to the man.

Bowing his head, the Imperial smiled. "I am well. Patrolling Cyrodiil's roads is not an easy task. However, I perform my duty with pride."

 _Hm...pride._ Dar'athra suppressed a grin. "The province benefits greatly from such loyalty."

"You're quite the charmer, aren't you? Well, I'd better keep on going. Stay safe, citizen."

"Dar'athra promises, of course." Nodding, the grey-furred Khajiit ducked out of the legionnaire's way. _Easy target._

He dropped into a crouch behind the soldier. Quietly, the Khajiit grasped the man's coin purse from his belt and tugged it off. Dar'athra tucked the stolen coins into his own coin purse before discarding the emptied pouch. _Fool will have no need for money._ Standing straight once more, he dusted off his greaves. Dar'athra sent the man a friendly wave goodbye as he passed the stationary soldier.

 _Stupid horse has an even stupider owner._

* * *

 **Adoration**

"Can't I do _anything_ to help you, Grand Champion?" A young, eager Bosmer chimed as he followed after Dar'athra and his other companions.

Beside the Khajiit, a hooded Imperial leaned close to whisper. "Care to tell me why we brought _him_ along?"

"Dar'athra cannot speak for the champion. Leaving the young Elf behind felt wrong."

"Now, now, Vercius," A smiling Dunmer clapped a hand against the Khajiit's back as she walked to his left. "Have you ever known Dar'athra to say 'no' to anyone?"

Crossing his arms behind his back, Vercius frowned. "Fair enough point. However, it was _because_ of Dar'athra's inability to say no that the previous Grand Champion...refused to fight back."

Scowling, the Khajiit hissed at his friend. "Dar'athra stands near; do _not_ forget that. Besides, the quest accomplished what was necessary. Sionne seemed happy."

"Damn right I did!" The aforementioned Redguard cheered as she batted away her fan's hand on her arm. "I mean, I wasn't happy that Agronak gave up the fight. Anyway, Dar'athra and I got to help someone discover his family history; even if it was horrible."

"Because helping people discover how bad their lives _really_ are is something to be proud of," The Dunmer deadpanned.

Sionne playfully shoved the Mer. "Ah, shut it, Adovesa."

"Ah, one of your adventures? Please, do tell!" The blond Bosmer excitedly hurried to the Redguard's side.

Dar'athra snorted at Sionne's attempts to calm the boy. _Truth be told, the boy is only good for entertainment. For now._ He looked to the brooding, hooded Imperial beside him. Vercius narrowed his eyes at the excited Bosmer, a familiar blood-thirsty glint appeared. Before the Ebony-clad man could move a muscle, Adovesa stepped towards him with a knowing look. She locked arms with him and held him in place. _Strong grip for a sorceress._ A grin spread across the grey-furred Khajiit's face.

"I could deal with the boy without a problem."

 **Clang!** The Dunmer promptly stomped on the man's foot. "You know better, Vercius."

Wincing, Vercius subtly jabbed the Mer with his elbow. "I _know_ that Sithis could always use an extra soul."

"Even one so annoying?" Dar'athra wondered, his tail swishing about.

At this, the Imperial's frown deepened. He walked arm-in-arm with Adovesa in silence. As the two walked, the Dunmer offered her friend quiet and insincere words of comfort. Vercius sent glares at both Adovesa and Dar'athra. _Sometime the night stalker is so foolish._ Chuckling at the Imperial's expense, Dar'athra sauntered ahead.

* * *

 **Containers  
**

Leaping on to a tree branch, Dar'athra crouched in anticipation. _Adovesa should remain cautious._ Drawing his dagger, the Khajiit eyed the road. _Skilled sorceress or not, the Mer could die._ His eyes landed on a traveling caravan of six people. The driver lazily held the reins with his head occasionally bobbing up and down. Two guards walked beside the horses, three guards walked behind the carriage. _A challenge..._

Rolling his shoulders, the Khajiit hopped down from his hiding spot and approached. _Where is she?_

 **Fwoom!** A large fireball hurtled towards the driver. The poor man fell out of his seat with a shout. Two panicked whinnies erupted from the horses' mouths and they struggled to hurry along the road. **Fwoom!** The second fireball set one of the rear guards aflame. He fell with a scream as he rolled on the ground. _Of course; the sorceress must take all the fun away..._

Dar'athra leaped into action. **Clang!** Dagger clashed against war axe. Taking in his opponent, the Khajiit's experienced eyes told him everything. The guard's arm trembled but held firm. Her stance enabled her to keep her ground. Yet her swings, _those_ could easily be manipulated. Sidestepping out of the weapon lock, Dar'athra lunged again. _The woman shall try to counter!_ He parried the attack with ease before he grabbed her shoulder. After plunging the entirety of his dagger into her abdomen, Dar'athra ripped the blade out and faced the remaining rear guard.

"Couldn't wait for all the fun?" With a spell crackling forth from her fingertips, Adovesa stepped out of the treeline with a grin.

Shrugging, the Khajiit dodged his opponent's strike. "Dar'athra refuses to stand idle."

Letting loose a plethora of spells, the Dunmer smirked. "Who would've thought, the Arch-Mage and an infamous thief team-up to raid a caravan?"

"Always for a friend in need," The Khajiit murmured as he kicked aside the burnt guard in front of him. "What treasure does this caravan hold?"

After finishing off the remaining guards, Adovesa climbed into the carriage. She knocked over a crate, causing it to fall on the ground behind the carriage. _Curious..._ Dar'athra approached the fallen crate. He gripped its cover while looking to his friend. Adovesa hopped back down and nodded eagerly. The Khajiit pulled on the crate with all his might. _Perhaps the Guild may benefit from-_ **Crrick!**

"This...this...is not what Dar'athra expected."

Frowning, Adovesa pulled the crate's contents out. "Some yarn and a cabbage? That can't be right..."

The grey-furred Khajiit sighed as his friend began shoving crates off of the carriage. "Things never change..."

* * *

 **Don't you guys just love entering dungeons and finally finding a chest or some sort of important-looking container? And then when you open it, you find something useless? Or barely worth the effort? No? Well, neither does Dar'athra. Poor guy. I mean, Adovesa can probably use the cabbage for alchemy.  
**

 **Edited the previous chapter of its errors. Like the warning for violence when there was none. Ironic, considering Vercius' background and occupation.**

 **Thank you for reading! Feel free to let me know what you thought.**


End file.
